(Dragon) Soul care.
(Dragon) Soul Care will be launching ….soon
Still a work very much in progress
Do you hear people speaking about going on retreat and just assume they mean a holiday? It can mean that to some people but to those who go on them it’s deeper than you think.
“What do people mean when they say they are “going on retreat”
In a nutshell it’s about self care.
Taking dedicated time and space to concentrate on your own energy and being . Away from all the day to day goings on.
Spending what can be intense time with like minded people.
And in many cases finding yourself.
It’s a literal retreat from the day-to-day routine.
“Are you sure it’s not just a fancy way of saying going on holiday?”
Coming from my own experience of going on retreat at least once a year for the last 6 years – it’s NOT a holiday.
Some of the hardest self work you can ever do can be in this space. In fact I’ve been known to need a break AFTER a retreat has finished to allow me to integrate back into day-to-day life. As the shift back can be very jarring and can take some time to adjust.
I’ve been to some amazing retreats which I would recommend to others. And on the flip side I’ve been to one I would not recommend. But the latter taught me some very important lessons on what to look for, what to avoid and eventually how not to run them myself.
Why did/do I go on them? With the work I’m asked to do I need space to recharge, go deep into my own energy and be looked after by the facilitator while I work. To switch off from social media, people, work etc. It’s a form of reset if you will.
I get so many ideas or “ah ha!!” moments while I’m away. Far more so than when I’m on holiday.
I surrender to the space. To the quiet. And allow in what I may have been blocking, refusing to look at or locked away. These spaces can force things to a head that we can at times ignore.
You have no idea – unless you’ve been on one yourself.
“So why go on retreat?”
We can all have good intentions to take time out each day. Or set aside a few days or a week where we say we’ll do the energy work, stay off social media, not putters first etc but how easy is it to split back into doing the exact things we said we wouldn’t.
I hold my hand up to that. I’m the worst for taking holidays and keeping working.
By putting myself into the hands of a facilitator I force myself to do the very things I have said I will. Basically making myself accountable.
It’s liberating but also slightly scary when you start out.
The scary being you may not know anyone else there but you are doing it anyway. Knowing things may come up that might be difficult to handle but trusting the facilitator will help you through it. Its a lesson in trust.
I have so many ideas, messages, confirmation and clearings that come up when I gift myself this intensive self care. And I see it as a gift to myself – not a treat as that carries a different vibration.
Without this time out each year my energy would be shredded.
“Ok. This might be something for me in the future. How do I choose the right one? “
Funnily enough I have found over time the right ones find me. Not the other way round.
Either something energetically in the location or with the facilitator is what resonates.
It catches my attention and feels right. There is no one rule fits all here – as whats right for me may not be right for you.
If you haven’t been on one before I have a few hints and tips to look for. If they resonate great, if they don’t thats great too. You’ll know at a gut level whats right for you.
My main hints and tips for going on retreat .
- Firstly is duration. You don’t want one that’s too long as the intensity for that duration may feel overwhelming unless you are used to the experience. 3 nights is a good place to start.
- Can you get there relatively easily? I have been on some where people are willing to travel to very out of the way places simply because it was the right mix of people and energy. It’s still good to consider travel arrangements.
- Have you sense checked the facilitator who will be running it? Is it someone you are aware of , or others may know? Always sense check this one folks. Are they approachable when it comes to any questions you may have? You’ll know at a gut level on this one.
- How many people are they holding the space for?
I have found on a personal level smaller retreats to be more to my liking. As in up to 15 people or so. You may be happier in a large group – its personal taste. But check the accommodation. If you have the ability to have a room to yourself this is a good indication of space. If you have to integrate shifts during sleep having a room to yourself or sharing with 1 person maximum is vital. Take it from someone who has seen the other side of this with no individual space and feeling crammed into a sardine tin – it can be claustrophobic!
- Price can/may be a factor it all depends on what feels right for you – especially if you have to factor in travel as well. Many are fully catered and are essentially full board for the duration so make sure and check that first. Plus you are getting (within reason as they need sleep too!) 1-2-1 access to the facilitator(s) you are drawn to.
- Is there an itinerary or plan for activities? Do they fit with what the retreat is for and does it feel like something you will be comfortable with? Do you have the ability or choice to not do something you don’t feel comfortable with. I was told that something I said at the very start of this years retreat I ran was highly empowering and it was simple. “You are all grown ups if you don’t want to do something then don’t do it.” And I stand by this for those I choose to go on myself.
However you choose is up to you.
“Is this just a sales pitch because you run them yourself?”
This is the time of year when many facilitators start planning and showing what they have to offer for the coming year. It can be a little overwhelming so some practical guidance on what to look for comes in handy. Don’t get me wrong I will add the link here if you want to have a look but that’s not why I wrote this. Type “2020 retreat” into a search engine and you’ll see what I mean.
Yes I run them but it was an natural step for the work that I do.
I still GO on them myself. In fact I have already booked a space for a 7 night one in June just after summer solstice with a facilitator I know and trust. So I’m putting my money where my mouth is – so to speak
If you feel like a retreat is in your plans for 2020 then happy searching – the right one will pop up. Probably a lot quicker than you might have anticipated…intention and all that.
Dragon Ascension Therapies
I’m just back after taking some much needed time away with part of my soul crew this week and I have a few things to put into action. The first of which will be from now till year end I won’t have any available appointments for energy work. The book will reopen from January 2019.
I’m stopping to concentrate on some needed self work. And the work handed to me at halloween which needs my full attention, energy and participation. Rather than the half arsed effort it’s been thus far. It’s big work and requires a bit of respect from yours truly.
So clearing the books it is.
For any that have been booked these will of course be honoured as this is a tad unexpected.
But this is me listening to my OWN advice about self care. About frigging time yes?
I will still be here and sharing as always and I will be continuing the Preloved crystals side of things but they won’t be running the show.
I’ve had my eyes opened to a few things this week:
Seen some surprising masks falling continuing the theme of the year.
Observed some real ego crappolla pop up on social media which I have zero time for. In particular from those who claim not to come from ego doing just that. A fair few double standards it has to be said. A lot to be said for plain speech and not speaking in riddles or thinly veiled drama.
I have some re-prioritisation to do before Winter Solstice (my new year) with self, work , direction etc. And truthfully what better time than now?
Here’s to seeing where the path meanders to next , speaking with my team and making time for the things that need it.
Contact me if you need to
If you have something that simply can’t wait by all means please get in touch.
Dragon Ascension Therapies
We all know that feeling when the spiral turns. Where what was once up is now down. What was down is now up. And having no clue how you got there.
Dark night of the Soul
This is a term you hear again and again. But what does it actually mean?
It’s different for each person and depends wholly on what you go through and come out the other side of.
I’ve had 3 that I know of and can recall in vivid detail.
The last of which was almost exactly 4 years to the day.
For me the dark night of the soul is when everything falls apart at the same time and the feeling of not being able to cope closes in. Or a clusterf*ck of things failing all at the same time. When the spiral turns and you find yourself at the very bottom of it clinging on for dear life. Without a clue or a safety net to help you back up again.
“Why are you bringing this up now?”
Because I am seeing and observing many lovely folks going through there own version of the spiral tipping upside down. It’s hard to observe and not be able to help beyond holding space. But as someone who came through her’s I’d like to explain why just being there for someone is so important.
We aren’t looking for you to fix things we’re just looking for support and a safe space when everything else feels like pure chaos.
I have spoken of this a fair few times but lets be truly honest and open.
4 years ago I had a complete mental breakdown.
It was messy, it was brutal and it shook my life upside down.
This was my third bout of clinical depression since 2002. And it was the worst by a long shot. It came with full paranoia which does a number on you that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
But I was finally paying attention. I was in a job for 16 years that was making me deeply unhappy and pulling me off course. I was actually following my fathers footsteps. Sounds innocuous doesn’t it? Well no, I had the realisation THIS year the I was following his exact pattern and that if I hand’t stepped out I may not have been here for much longer. I am not overstating this. He passed young, from stress. I broke that pattern well and truly. It wasn’t mine to follow hence why it was making me so ill.
It took my team 3 attempts to get the message across and I know I wouldn’t have been given a 4th if I’d ignored this one.
My life was being pulled in two polar opposite directions and the physical “me” couldn’t cope with the huge gap between them. I had to be forced to make a choice, stay and become ill. Or leave and fix myself.
I took a scary leap of faith and took the latter option.
I know but I am proof it CAN be done – scary or otherwise.
Without that leap I would have stayed right where I was and who knows what state I would be in now.
But that’s the point I don’t have to wonder or think about it as I changed the script. I reached my rock bottom and while parts are extremely hazy it had to be done.
It took me a good 6 months of rest, daily exercise, remembering to eat and finally starting to sleep again before I emerged from my stupor. Before I started to feel less shaky, less anxious, less paranoid. More myself and able to breathe again.
I started to have all sorts of realisations of what was going on. As it wasn’t JUST the job that was going sideways. I had some people in my life who were the absolute wrong vibration and had to go. I had to cut all ties and work solid for over a year to reverse a whole host of crap out of my system and out of my energies.
But it made me stronger.
I was able to start my own business in 2014 and I’m still here. In a slightly different form to when I tentatively launched myself *wry smile*
It made me able to do what I now do for others. Without that experience I would have no empathy for the people who seek me out or find me.
And I’ve made my peace with that. It took a while but I got here.
And if I can do it ANYONE can.
Here’s the important bit. I had a few people in my life who stepped up.
Who fully supported me through it , who were there when I needed to offload and were there when I needed a boot applied to my arse.
Without them I wouldn’t have gotten so far so fast. They are still very much in my life now and we still support each other.
That list has grown somewhat over 4 years but it’s strong.
I found my tribe and it shifts as I do. And I’m cool with that.
I am now in a position where I can be that person for others. To hold safe protected space to let them be honest with themselves. To fall apart if need be and know I have their back with zero judgement. I have no possible way of understanding exactly what they are going through only that they are.
For me to be empathetic but not take their stuff on for them as it serves no-one to do that. Holding space does not mean absorbing others issues, pain, challenges or lessons. We do our own work in our own way. Give people the space and respect to do so.
Work in Progress
I’m still doing my work. Working with my shadow aspect and having realisations all over the place. I am a work in progress and always will be as I learn and remember aspects of who I am and who I will become.
That’s the trick right there. When you find yourself at the bottom of that spiral it can shake everything apart.
It’s your job to put yourself back together – possibly in a completely different pattern.
I am a radically different person to who I was 4 years ago. And it’s a bloody good thing as I was a shell, a whisper of myself.
Now I’m standing fully in who I am , what I work with and what I do. And I have a feeling I always will be.
I am becoming who I was meant to be before I got sidelined by various circumstances and choices made via free will along the way.
The spiral always turns back up again
Remember this. It’s important.
Your spiral WILL turn back up again that’s the beauty of a spiral.
And while yours rights itself the next persons may dip down. Be there for them.
You have no idea until you’ve been through it just how important that support is or becomes. Or how you then pass it forwards.
It’s a beautiful thing when you look back on it.
A curious one this one when folk push your boundaries. Now normally I wouldn’t but this last week I’ve pushed back.
And pushed back fairly significantly if I’m brutally honest.
Yes, really. Everyone has a tipping point and I reached mine.
Now that will sound a lot more dramatic than it actually was.
To set the scene…….
As you know I go into observation mode quite a lot of the time – as it’s what I do. To see the bigger picture and get a sense of what I’m picking up on and why.
Most of the time this is enough . I take the time to sit with it and let whatever is coming up do so – then work out where it’s stemming from and go from there. Doing the work and integration etc etc etc
But sometimes, just sometimes, I do things a little differently.
As you know over time I have developed very specific boundaries professionally and personally in keeping with what I do and what energies work through me. I’ve had to and most of the time this is respected.
But over the last week or so I’ve noticed and was made aware of people nudging at these – particularly the professional ones.
And this time round I’ll confess I pushed back.
I know, I know.
I’m not all sweetness and light so this shouldn’t come as a complete shock to folks – but it may have taken the ground out from under a few pairs of feet that I actually called folk on it.
And was seen to do it.
And no this is not aimed at anyone as I have a life outside of social media…..hard to believe but it’s true.
“You’re just kidding us on……..”
No, I really did call folk on their actions (and yes I have a life beyond FB). Not aggressively or in your face but it was done.
It’s not just myself who’s here to remember about boundaries, energy and playing fair.
We ALL are.
Sometimes I get called on things and that’s fine with me as I don’t always see it when I’m in the thick of it.
Sometimes I’m blinkered to my own actions and I need a wee shake or boot up the arse to GET IT.
So if I need reminding every now and again you can bet others do to.
So occasionally I get the green light from the team to let rip.
For anyone ever caught in the cross fire my apologies. But likely as not there’s a reason for that too.
“Ouch! That must smart!”
Not all the time 🙂 it can be done gently and without ripping off the plaster, and I do have the skills to do it that way. Thank goodness!
So be aware of your boundaries and if folk overstep one time too many….push back.
You might be very interested to see what happens………
This little snippet was brought to me by my team this morning. About not overdoing your energetic clearing.
“I see you talk about Clearing quite a lot. What is this exactly?”
Essentially exactly what it says – clearing out my energetic system of things , vibrations, downloads etc that serve no purpose. As in they aren’t mine, are old and outdated, have moved on. There a whole list of what they could be and why they might be better off not being in my system thanks very much.
When you start to look at your energy system – and I mean REALLY look deep into your system and sense check it you start to get little feelings about what pops up.
An example – and yes one of mine
You’re always feeling angry.
There’s no obvious reason for feeling this way – things are going well, no major issues you can see, everyone around you is fine.
You go for massage, reiki, whatever usually helps you to relax but it just not working.
So you decide to take things into your own hands and work out what the hell is going on.
So you sense check your energy system – those trained in reiki or other modalities are trained to do self-care first before working with others. But lets face it how many of us FORGET we have this little tool kit? I did…..for 7 years but have come back to it full force.
You work with your energy system and start to sense some things out of balance so you do whats needed to bring it back into balance.
You may also get shown or sense where it has stemmed from so you can go to the source and work from there.
Great everything feels better but again the anger creeps back in.
So you do some more and repeat the whole process….and again…..and again.
Its like peeling an onion when you do this kind of work – each layer exposes another one for work/release.
The more you do the more you find to release.
Now here’s the thing – you can overdo this.
It’s very tempting and, in my experience, very easy to dig deeper and deeper and deeper……….
While this sounds a great idea – and for some people it will be, I’m not ruling that out in anyway – its exhaustingly intense stuff.
As in bone weary, “ will it never end!” exhausting.
Here’s the rub
You know that saying that “energy flows where attention goes”
The more you focus on looking for and finding things that are out of balance the more you will find.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, its excellent work and I commend you if you have been doing this. It’s what I help facilitate for others and I understand how complex it all is.
But have you given yourself a bit of a break?
Have you stepped back after clearing a layer out and simply let things settle for a bit? To see how your energy system shifts and flexes and grows?
I have found – again with bitter experience, if I overdo it I become next to useless and can’t help anyone.
Or I’m pulling up things to be cleared out that it’s not time for me to be pulling out. Does that makes sense?
“No, not really”
Ok lets put it another way.
Say for example I have some shadow work to do, to acknowledge work through and release.
I on a personal level wish to do the work so I understand what has been going on but if I pull it out too quickly will I learn anything from this?
So I don’t go looking for it – I used to.
I have learned to now go with the flow and allow these things to come up as they are meant to.
If nothing else it helps keep me sane.
“So how do you do it then?”
It’s all about balance – about doing the work but not 24/7
– I’ll sense check frequently to truly understand my own energy and if something feels off will look into it, feel round it and get a gut sense of what it is.
– I won’t jump right in unless I get a sense that it’s what’s needed immediately.
– I’ll ask others that I trust to do a quick sense check around me in case I’m mis-reading the situation which I’ll confess I do from time to time. No-one is perfect and the human part isn’t something to dismiss.
– then and only when I feel ready do I go in to move things on – I get a nudge when its time
I have been given new ways of working to do this by my team and I bless them for it.
I can’t share them as yet as I’ve still integrating them in but I will say it is possible to delegate things back to your higher self when it gets overwhelming. To be able to function and go about the day to day things.
Keep going but take a break
So yes keep doing the Clearing work but cut yourself some slack.
Take a step back once you’ve done some and see what comes forwards – let you’re newly exposed energy settle for a bit first.
Thats what my team showed me this morning and asked me to pass on :
“Overdo it and you’ll simply find more, which will in time overwhelm you.
Take it a step at a time and learn from what comes up and how you work.
Develop new ways of working , we will guide you through it should you need the help.
Don’t try and sprint before you can even crawl. You’ll only attract more towards you.
Things will get done when they get done.”
You may laugh but I had this exact moment last week when my energy drained to such a dangerously low level I could no longer cope. I had to tell my team , very abruptly and very clearly to “f**k off! Seriously f**k right off!”
Seriously? You said that to them?!
Yup! We still very much have free will as a human and CAN tell our teams to back off when things get just too much.
I had been holding two massive spaces for two different situations and I’ll be brutally honest I’d over extended myself. To a dangerously low level.
How did I know?
Well, for one I was utterly exhausted, not sleeping, flying off the handle and on social media on my personal page getting very defensive.
This is not “normal” for me I tend to be a bit calmer, easy to diffuse potential explosions and quick to nip things in the bud.
The penny drops…..in the moment
The very fact I was letting myself get riled over, lets face it, daft things of zero consequence was a huuuuuuuuge warning bell I needed to step back before I imploded.
So step back I did. I left several groups (one of which was my own I might add) , stepped back from all my pages/groups and took a time out……..Yes it did feel like a temper tantrum. An energetic one. I don’t do too well on lack of sleep at the best of times added in all the pressure I had taken on was a melting pot. Imagine Vesuvius and you get a feel for where I was.
So they gave me approx 12 ours or so before they were at me to launch the 1-2-1 Teaching……..seriously????? Guys the human body needed at least 5 days of R&R not 12 HOURS.
What did you do?
Like I said above I told them direct to essentially knock it off, cut the sh*t and leave me alone. That’s the thing with my team they do help facilitate situations where I am pushed to my limits to see if my boundaries hold or if I roll over and let things happen.
As you may have spotted there was no rolling over this time.
Energy workers. Please I am speaking to you direct here. Use this as a teaching/learning NOT to overburden yourself. If things feel too much take a STEP BACK. Temporarily pull yourself in and do the self work/healing/resting to safe guard your energy.
We are all “guilty” of doing this and our teams, at times bless them, forget we are still human and need to eat, sleep and rest. Working 24/7 is nothing to them ….For the human body it’s a little more complex.
Stand up for yourself. No-one else will do it on your behalf.
Ok – so in life I’m a blunt speaker (had you noticed?) and I do ask for things in respect to myself be made very very clear so I get them. But you can be equally as blunt back . Yes really. Regardless of what energy you are talking to.
I’ve sworn at angelic beings and I’m still here.
I took the time I needed to recharge my energy . I ignored my team for several days and then created a crystal gird for me and me alone. The first time I’d done that in ages. And the healing came. Only once I was strong enough did I put the message out there re the teaching and I now have blessed silence.
Put it another way if I was a phone last week my battery was around 1% today it’s around 97% and I’ve said to them to bring in the next round as Im where I need to be.
They don’t my swearing personally as they don’t judge and they have the same sense of humour anyway and swear back (which I’ll confess I like).
So there you go. When in doubt swear it out your system
You’ll feel better if nothing else………..