Home » spiritual bullying

Tag: spiritual bullying

Social media – stormy weather

Social media. It’s an odd animal isn’t it.

On one hand it’s a phenomenal tool for connecting with like minded people, seeking out new pathways and expanding your life. On others it’s a pain in the backside with people using it to spout from their own little soap box.

It all depends on your perception of what it is.

For me I view it as a tool. And a highly useful one at that.
With that mindset and intent I have a pretty upbeat social media newsfeed and only see what is relevant for me.
It can be done.

Masks slipping here there and everywhere

However what I’ve observed for quite some time now, and in particular the past 24 hours or so is rather startling.

People standing in what they believe/feel to be their own power and using social media as a way of using their voice. All power to you. I do it myself so cannot possibly say anything else.

But they are missing or are oblivious to the language and tone they are using that’s showing the mask they’ve been wearing.
And it’s slipping.
And slipping FAST.

Now I’m coming only from a standpoint of observation right now as I’m too damn tired to be doing anything else. Until my own energy stabilises from all the shifts I’ve had since 31st October all I CAN do is observe.

But I’m seeing things very clearly.
And I’m paying attention as to where they are coming from.

“So what exactly are you seeing?”

To put into context I have had, so far today, three “seriously? Judgemental much? Wow, just wow.” moments.

What’s come across loud and clear is views/opinions being expressed but coming across as judgement.
From people who claim to be “better” than that. Their words, not mine.

It’s very firmly in the language used. And the message has a hint of a slap about it. It may be there to deliberately incite a reaction. I may be completely off- base , as I often am. As hey, I’ll admit I’m human and make mistakes.

I make no claims to be free of ego, to be completely non-judgemental. I do my best.
But I will admit when I’m wrong.

For the people who say they are free of ego and judgement. They may well be and if they are I salute them. But when faced with something written or said which flies in the face of that I have to question the energy underneath.

Because I can feel AND see it, clear as day.

Live your life your way

You are under NO obligation to justify any of the following to others:

  • Your feelings.
  • What you do.
  • The systems you use to process shifts and transitions.
  • Your way of giving back – as we ALL do it in some way.
  • What you charge for the work you do.
  • Falling into your shadow and doing your shadow work.

It’s no-one else’s business but yours.
As in turn it’s none of your business how someone else feels, works, copes etc.

See what’s underneath

So when someone who is a way-shower, guide, teacher – whatever word resonates for you. Starts to make you feel as if you are being judged in some way just by what is being written or shared. Question it. Look at the language being used , look beneath the surface and see what pops up.

Sometimes its insecurity, sometimes it can be a sense of self importance, or possibly its a fear of losing people or control. They may be processing and not realise it, or they have shadow work coming up that requires some work.

Whatever it is IT’S NOT YOURS TO TAKE ON.
It’s simply their perception.

If you have asked for insight that’s different.
But unsolicited advice or unsolicited opinion? Let it wash over you or send it right back.

Time to take stock.

If you are seeing patterns or a trend on social media it’s time to pay attention.

For me today it’s a confirmation of perhaps it being time to part ways with specific pages/energies/people. As we seem to be out of alignment with each other, or we’re an octave off each others frequency. Something doesn’t quite “fit” anymore.

And that’s ok.
People change, energies shift, directions change path.
It’s all part of what we are here to do.

Sense check yourself.

If you look at the language you are using on social media and think “uh oh, Ive read that from a different view point and its sounds a bit judgemental” don’t panic. You are still human. Judgement is so deeply ingrained from a very young age it’s hard to break away from. Being aware of when you are falling into it isn’t a bad thing. It’s a just a thing.

If it feels uncomfortable do what you need to take it away. To resolve what has come up.
Learn and move on.

But own your own crap.

Better yet if it pops up , scroll past and live your own life. Observe it absolutely but try not to take it personally. As trust me , it’s not about you.


Musings from a tired energy worker

When you see a storm brewing in social media
Photo for spiritual bullying blog post

Spiritual judgement, shaming and bullying. Yes it’s a thing


Spiritual judgement, shaming and bullying? Surely you must be joking? Shouldn’t that be the one place where this doesn’t happen?

In an ideal world abso-bloody-lutely! The assumption that being spiritual means you rise above and break free from this kind of thing.

However this is very much alive and kicking in the spiritual world and i’ve been asked to shine a light on it. For those who have witnessed and kept silent, for those who have gone/are going through it, and even for those who may be DOING it. Let’s acknowledge it shall we.

“Ok – can you try and get my head round this please?”


Where to start.

Firstly before anyone decides that I’m scare mongering or creating a drama for no good reason let me say this.

I am speaking from first hand experience, I have BEEN there personally, I KNOW what it feels like and how easy it is to get pulled in. I had to go through it to do what i do now. And if sharing this helps just one other person then thats why it’s been written.

So what do I mean by Spiritual Bullying?

In simple terms where someone you view as an authority in the spiritual field speaks to you in such a way as to suppress YOUR gifts and talents. To keep you small, unable to grow and doubting what you do. To follow their path only and be fearful or sceptical of anyone else. Or in some cases where money is involved that you only spend with them – no-one else.

One of the many examples I witnessed personally are:

“that person is not as spiritually evolved as us because ……..”

“you’re not spiritual because you swear/have tattoos/drink…….”

“I’m more spiritual than you because…….”

“you’re not spiritual because you don’t have all my qualifications”


“Yuck!! That’s horrible!”

All pretty toxic aren’t they? And I’ve heard them all and more even toxic variations over the years.
From more than person who may or may not be very well known in the spiritual world.

The sad part was I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker. And I was horrified to realise I almost started repeating them as I had been programmed, very cleverly, to believe it. Pretty much word for word.

But I clocked what I was doing as other alarm bells were ringing at the very same time.

I got out, broke the cycle and so can you.

But how is this bullying?

Think about it. What to bullies do?
They break down your confidence and self belief to a point where you are broken.
Unable to function. Believing you are worthless, stupid, unloved etc
This is the EXACT same thing but wrapped in pretty words so it takes a while for the penny to drop as to what’s ACTUALLY going on.

It’s a form of control and it’s an old, old, old way of working that came in when things were classed as “New Age”. We have moved on so these are being pushed up to the surface for many to now see. And to highlight what we won’t be taking forwards.

It’s this fine line between speaking from a place of judgement, which is toxic enough. But then moving over to a place of doing harm – either intentionally or not. Bullying is ugly, very ugly.

When you start pulling the wrapping back you start to see what its been covering for some time. These people are actually very skilled at what they do and typically have years if not decades of practice to hone their skills. Many are living in hurt themselves and continue this cycle as they haven’t acknowledged it so keep as many people in the same place for company.

So why do we fall for it?

Because it sounds plausible, we have what we feel is a relationship of trust with these people who we look up to, follow, believe. So we trust what they are saying. But when that penny drops it drops with a clang.

And you start to doubt and break free. Then the control measures start to kick in to keep you there.


A classic one I’ve had – more than once since I started doing my own work and breaking free from control:

“There’s something dark around your aura when I tuned in”

Um nope there isn’t. You’re not understanding the difference between “dark” and shielding as you have zero permission to even be looking at my energy let alone trying to read it. I know MY energy well enough thanks without anyone attempting to derail me.

This is pretty standard – BUT I have been shown by my own team how to shield for a reason. For the work that I do. And trust me I put these boundaries in place for both myself and for those I’m working with. For good reason.

But hey why let the little matter of the truth get in the way of a sales pitch……..yes really.

So why are you writing this now?

Because it’s beyond time. And because I had some attempt to spiritually judge me , live on FB the other week. I saw through and realised they wanted a confrontation so I didn’t give them one. I blocked and moved on instead. Can’t gather speed against a brick wall can you.

I am very anti-bullying because I’ve had experience of it over the years. And you know I won’t stand by when vulnerable people are being treated in this way. I know I’m not alone in this.

So if you decide to move away from someone as they no longer feel the right fit you’ll have one of 2 responses.

  1. The genuine people will applaud you for following your OWN path and will wish you well.
  2. Others will say you’re having a wobble, need to clear you energy, say you’re needing work done, or even get a bit aggressive ….these are the folk you are trying to keep your wings clipped.

Photo for spiritual bullying blog post Break free instead.

Learn the difference and live YOUR life YOUR way.
Don’t let others beliefs or programming take over. They only work for them not you.

Shine that light of yours any way that feels right and makes you happy.Be the point of support for others breaking free of it all.

And if you’ve been the one judging, shaming or even bullying. Take a look at yourself and go deep. Where is this need/fear stemming from. Work through it and move forwards too. We all do it in some form – recognise it, deal with it and move on.

No-one is perfect but everyone is capable of being better than they were yesterday.

pic for "fuel to fire" blog

Spiritual awareness is not a f**king competition

It really, really isn’t. But it seems to be for some folk. Pop your hand up if you’ve been in groups on social media where people start to get argumentative, aggressive, downright rude and falling into a form of spiritual bullying along the lines of “I’m more spiritually aware than you”……A one-upmanship competition to be on top and worshiped or seen as an expert ……. Spiritual awareness it’s not a f**king competition folks.

I can see all sorts of hands popping up , mine included.

Now this is not an easy one to write as there are all sorts of layers and levels to this and how it manifests. I’ve left plenty of groups on FB for this very thing….I don’t comment I just observe for a while and when it really gets too much I leave. No drama no fuss.

This can’t be said of everyone. And in truth my tolerance for this is wearing thin.

Ok, so where are you coming from on this one?

Quite simply I’m against bullying of ANY form especially any I’ve experience myself.

It’s all very exciting when we start out and become aware of spiritual and energetic stuff going on. That first opening of the door can cause quite a rush and an overwhelming urge to know more, more, more and as quickly as possible. That enthusiasm is perfectly normal and quite fun to witness as it takes people back to childhood.

What’s not so nice is when these same people after a period of time start to question in a slightly more aggressive manner and it feels they are actually spoiling for a fight. They disagree with everything but rather than allow others to have their own views and opinions they keep trying to get their viewpoint across above all others.

This my dears is a form of bullying – healthy debate is all well and good but it’s easy to fall over this and it becomes personal, rude and completely beyond the pale.

This is where I have a line drawn in the sand and I will and do call folk on it.

Why bother?

Because I’ve had it done to me.

I’ve had the “I’m more spiritually advanced because of a, b and c” thrown at me. Which utterly undermined my confidence, my ability to trust my own experiences and to fall into a trap of almost putting someone on a pedestal as they must know more and better than me. After all who am I to question…..

THIS IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BOLLOCKS – no one who is aware would ever talk down to someone starting out, tell them they aren’t advanced and superimpose their views and beliefs on others.

We all have our own path to tread and no one can navigate it but us. What we experience, feel and learn is unique to ourselves. What works for someone will not work for everyone and who are we to question anyone else when we are working on ourselves at the same time. We know the headf**kery that are shifts and integrations – they are hard enough to navigate at the best of times.

Try and not fall into the language trap of “advanced” or “masters” or any other word that suggests a tier system. We are all on different pages of the same book – some read it in a linear fashion, some jump to different chapters, some even go to the end to read that first . There’s no right or wrong in this simply what’s right for YOU.

Don’t let/give permission to anyone belittle or talk down your experiences or feelings ESPECIALLY if it’s something they haven’t experienced direct for themselves. This is the bit that I’ll confess winds me up.

Just because you don’t agree with something someone says or does doesn’t make it wrong – it just makes it different.

pic for "fuel to fire" blog

But you don’t allow posting about/from certain people in your groups, isn’t that a contradiction?

No it isn’t.

These are energies that do not resonate with me in any form and I’ve found over time when they are mentioned they cause fights in my spaces. This is based on my own experience – no-one elses.  I’ve gone against my own gut instinct before leaving posts up and things have blown up very quickly. I realise now they had to be seen as masks were falling and it was a form of confirmation of this.

To keep my own spaces in good health, balanced and a safe place to be able to have a HEALTHY debate I do police it. It’s a thing called Boundaries – and you know how I bang on about that all the time.

It’s a personal and professional boundary and by stating it it becomes respected …which goes two ways I might add.


I respect that people have different experiences, resonate with different people and energies – and if that includes people I don’t resonate with that’s fine. It’s none of my business who people have high regard for , follow , read or promote.

Each to their own and all that.

What I won’t do is judge folk based on their beliefs or experiences, who the hell am I to dictate about anything. I’m still learning and always will be learning.

I have my connection to my team and specific energies which aren’t for everyone.

I may even connect with aspects of these energies that others feel uncomfortable with , don’t trust, don’t like etc etc.

There’s nothing wrong with that – I’m here to do what I’ve been asked to do and I’m getting on with it.

If folks disagree with me along the way so be it.

Do your own thing

If you’re doing your own work and things are coming forwards and the groups you’re in just aren’t striking the right balance for you anymore here’s a top tip:

Start your own

Get your own voice out there.
Gather your own tribe
Look after them
Protect your space

And maybe then you’ll have an understanding of what I’m talking about and why I’m strict about certain things.

It’s called learning based on personal experience.

It’s an ever evolving thing!

Nothing is set in stone so drop the arrogance accept that people will have different opinions to you , it’s called the spice of life.

And above all stop the bullying as you’ll find pretty quick there are some folk out there who will call you on it publicly.

And with time and hindsight you may even realise what you were doing in the first place.

Like I said spiritually awareness isn’t a competition – it’s a personal path.