So December what was that all about? That was meant to be my time of solitude, of launching the website, of writing courses, of getting things ready for the approach of the new year and new energy. Is that what I got? Indeed it was not. Life crashed fully into the way and I spent the month between 2 houses, back and forth to hospital, dropping everything for a family member and generally running on empty. Even my business side ramped up when I’d written it off………so self care time it is!
Last week was possibly the worst week I’ve had in a while as everything culminated to a not so nice peak peak: storms, hormones, lack of sleep, work, demands on my time and at the very end we had snow ….my car slipped and my brakes locked – it was only for a fraction of a second and instinct kicked in and everything was fine. But it threw me back to the winter of 2010 when I got snowed in where I worked at the time …not a great experience.
So I took action and stopped everything and simply rested before I cracked….my powers of communication had deserted me and trying to express what was going on became impossible.
What was it all about? What I’ve been shown and had confirmation of as I type this is that I am dangerously low on energy having given too much away to others and I’m am very close to dropping into ill health and exhaustion.
I have a feeling a few of you reading this are sitting there nodding and KNOW what I’m about to say and why.
This is yet another example of me not listening to my own advice so if I can’t be an example let me be a warning instead.
We are brought up to put others first, helps others and not be selfish. Along the way this has gotten a tad ….confused shall we say. Looking after yourself is NOT a selfish act despite what many other people may say or voice.
Put it this way do you have a car that your service and/or MOT every year?
Do you have a heating system that gets checked over once a year to make sure its working and safe?
Do you have insurance for your home that you update every year?
Are you seeing that pattern….we can maintain and look after inanimate objects but how often do we extend this level of care to ourselves? Not often.
Yes we extend this to our family and friends but step back for a minute – when was the last time you did something for you. Without making excuses for it or explaining it away or being embarrassed about it…..I wonder how many people are struggling to answer , I know I am.
Last week was a kick up the arse for me to sort my energy out before I drain it completely – and I’m taking it seriously as I know for me what that can lead to – depression, exhaustion, adrenal issues and a few other lovely things. Putting other people before me is a natural default setting as thats what I’ve always done but the tide is changing.
I’m at a stage now when the warning signs are far from subtle and I have to take this very seriously. Yes by all means keep working and helping others I’ve been told but SORT YOUR WON ENERGY FIRST or you will have nothing left to work with.
That old adage of you can pour from an empty tea-cup which is the point I’m almost at…not quite but almost.
I’m now drawing my energy back in, taking time away from social media, not being on hand 24 hours a day. I’m seriously looking at and sorting my diet which has collapsed recently , I’ve restarted exercise despite mt tendonitis issues as the lack of movement is driving me a tad antsy.
I’m starting to read the pile of books that are staring at me for the last year or so. I’m getting massage, I’m going to people I trust to help boost my energy levels.
I’m also about to start a deep declutter of my home and working space to move on any stagnant areas.
Ultimately I am putting myself first – after all if I cant help myself how can I help anyone else.
Before anyone panics I am on the way back up – honestly. But I’m using this an example to people very honestly that energy workers are humans too and sometimes we forget….we get reminded quite sharply but the penny does drop.
Self care is not selfish – remember that, and if you see me forgetting give me a nudge.